I’m hanging out in Secret World Legends, waiting for Jack of the Lantern to pop again, and it occurs to me I’ve really REALLY wanted to blog about my impending move. I put it off because I’ve already neglected this blog for too long, and my move isn’t exactly gaming news. If I’m going to post again it probably ought to be about how I’m still loving the relaunch of The Secret World as Secret World Legends (despite legitimately missing AEGIS). Or about the SWL Halloween event I’m participating in as much as I can. Or about my experiences finally getting into Star Trek Online (very much enjoying it!). Or about how Cuphead looks so lovely, but I’m not in a place to play it right now and that’s a shame. Or I could even try to figure out what in the world I’m doing about Extra Life this year and maybe let everyone else know.
But hey, sometimes you go with what you really want to write about. Prepare for rambling, I have Many Thoughts just now.
I moved around a lot when I was a kid, first as a Navy brat and then following Mom’s career as an electrical engineer. A few nights ago, I realized I’m just a couple years older than my mom was when she and Dad moved the family from Rhode Island to Minnesota, our last move as a family. Her job was paying for it so they were able to hire movers…but still had to drive two cars, two kids, and two cats all the way out here. And without yet having a new house lined up. Or even being 100% sure which city they were relocating to. It’s one of those weird reminders that as a kid you assume the adults know what they’re doing…then you’re suddenly an adult and realize how much is just doing the best you can with what options you have.
I was one of those kids who got out of high school, moved away, and vowed never to come back. Except in 2003 my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. My parents had divorced shortly after we got to Minnesota. My brother was recently married. I was unhappy with some things where I was living at the time. In the end, I was the one who moved back home to help out. It was never really the plan for me to stay so long, but sometimes life happens. I’ve never regretted that move, but it ended up changing my life a lot more and for a lot longer than I could have known at the time.
Maybe because I moved so much as a kid, I never really considered this my “hometown” with all the feels that label is supposed to inspire. At the same time, I’ve somehow managed to spend most of my life here. I may not like the place as much as I feel I should, but it is familiar. Comfortable. I know where everything is. I have a support network of friends here and in the surrounding areas that’s probably far better than I deserve.
Until she finalizes her own moving plans, my mom is also here. We definitely don’t always agree on everything; but she’s my mom, I love her, and I’ve been the one around to help her out for over a decade now. She’s excited for me about this move, and excited to find her own next adventure, but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t some guilt and other feelings involved for me.
On the other hand.
For those who have somehow missed this all over my social media, I’m moving out to Charleston, SC. My boyfriend, Nash, headed out there earlier this year to start fixing up his dad’s old house. We were always long distance since he was living in Illinois when we met, but Charleston is not just a day’s drive away. I miss him, a lot. I also miss his cat, even though Grady is kind of a jerk.
I love what I’ve seen of Charleston. I’ve missed living near the ocean ever since my family moved to Minnesota. I think the only place I love better than near the ocean is the UP of Michigan, near Lake Superior – and living up there has its own issues. I kinda fell in love with Charleston either the moment we walked along the ocean and spotted a dolphin, or when we went out to dinner and I got actual fresh seafood for the first time in decades. One of the two. 😉
I’ve known for a long time that if I want to get anywhere careerwise, it would be easier to be in a bigger city again. There’s only so many jobs in town, and if you want to crosstrain or promote somewhere else within the same company it’s always a drive. I’ve considered moving back to the Cities a few times, and for a while I was thinking Rochester…it just never really felt right.
I also love the house, and my dog Loki is going to love the fenced yard once we get it all fixed up. 🙂 Nash will probably never believe me, but when I was out there visiting I very much enjoyed the time I spent sorting out the porch and helping with other rooms. I like the place as is, but given some time, I think he and I can do a lot with it whether we decide to stay there or eventually sell it.
None of this is to take away from, “I miss my bf and want to be closer to him” but there’s an awful lot of extra bonuses if I’m being honest. An awful lot of excite and happy to balance out the stress and, yes, some trepidation.
When I was 18 I thought nothing of piling my stuff in my car and moving to the Twin Cities without even having a job lined up. I’m 34 now with, you know, bills. And a dog. And a lot more Stuff. And old student loan payments. And needing to keep my health insurance bc my body is getting more defective than it used to be. Working for a good company I’d like to stay with. It’s a lot more complicated now, is what I’m saying.
So, more immediate thoughts.
I’m not as worried about the packing part as you’d think, even though I have to do it between shifts at work. I have most of my breakables packed already. Anything not breakable, worst case, gets thrown in a box and sorted out later. I’m lucky in that I don’t need to bring much furniture, really only the futon, my mattress, and some pieces that are special to me. Nash is flying out to drive the Uhaul so I can drive my car with the doggo. We’ll be loading the truck ourselves, carefully.
Related to that though….it’s all the OTHER things I need to do, between work, that have been stressing me out. Setting up pickups for donation of all the furniture I’m NOT bringing. Getting other things sold, donated, or to the dump. This time I really can’t “just leave things with Mom” because she’s planning on moving when she can, and she can’t take care of the heavy things by herself.
Getting all the vet/doctor/dentist/optometrist stuff taken care of that I can while I’m still close to places I already know and trust. Sending emails and making calls to figure out where I’m transferring to (I did get a call from a store that’s very interested, so with any luck that will be sorted soon). Making sure to get my car looked at before I do a three-day drive. Figuring out the best plan for the drive itself and making sure we have reservations at dog-friendly hotels. (Nash got that part sorted, yay!) Getting Loki used to his new car harness and tether-thing so he doesn’t try to copilot.
And I work retail management. Which means my schedule is all over. There’s never a guarantee on a day I work that I’ll have time to take care of things during normal business hours, assuming I want sleep. We’re also shorthanded, so to be honest I can’t be 100% sure I can even make phone calls on lunch without interruption.
I’ll get it all sorted, if I’m honest with myself I’ve done worse and more stressful things. Just, as the days left keep counting down, it’s the “Things I Need To Do During Normal People Hours” that have most of my focus. It’s also stuff I can’t really ask someone else to help me with. When Loki needs more shots, I need to be the one who brings him. I don’t think anyone else can get to the dentist for me. 😛 And so on.
I started this post a few days ago, unsure if I was going to publish it or just get the thoughts out in text form. I suspect I have enough friends curious how things are going that I may as well actually publish the thing. I’m still somewhat overwhelmed, but I think I’m starting to feel like I might have a handle on most things? At least in this moment, as I type…that feeling could change, and probably will, many times between now and when I actually leave.
It might sound odd, but it’s really helped that so many people who care about me are also so excited for me. 🙂 When I’m kinda stressing about the logistics, you folks remind me that hey, I’m also excited and happy about this and it’s worth taking some time to enjoy that part of it. ❤
I truly know what youre going through. I moved myself, a wife, 2 German Shepherds, 2 cats, and a screaming 1 year old from Colorado, to Hawaii, and then Hawaii to DC in under a year.
Good luck! It sucks, but logistics have a tenancy to work themselves out
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